Cartman Gets | An Anal Probe

Suddenly, a beam of blinding, neon-blue light tore through the clouds. It struck Cartman dead center. He was hoisted three feet off the ground, his small limbs flailing like an overturned beetle.

With a wet, mechanical thud, the device made contact. Cartman’s eyes bulged. He let out a sound that wasn't quite a scream and wasn't quite a sneeze. Then, as quickly as it began, the light vanished, the ship vanished into a warp-drive blur, and Cartman plummeted into the snowbank with a heavy, muffled "oof." Cartman Gets an Anal Probe

"Whatever, Cartman," Kyle sighed. "Let's just go to school." If you'd like to see more of South Park, I can: Suddenly, a beam of blinding, neon-blue light tore

"Dude," Kyle whispered, pointing. "You have a giant satellite dish coming out of your butt." With a wet, mechanical thud, the device made contact

The ships shuddered. The aliens, apparently offended by the primitive and gaseous nature of the broadcast, turned their fleet around and vanished into the stratosphere.

The boys realized they had to act. They dragged Cartman to the top of Stark’s Pond, where the signal was strongest. "We have to get them to leave!" Stan shouted over the wind. "Give them the signal!" Kyle yelled.